Pokemon Battle
by Shwoo
Summary: In an alternate universe where everything is settled via Pokemon battles, Perry thwarts Doofenshmirtz again. One-shot.


I wrote and edited this late at night. I don't think it's that terrible, but if it is, that's the reason. Sorry.

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Once more Perry swung through Doofenshmirtz's open window. Sometimes when he was bored, he went the long way up, but today he just wanted to get this over with.

Doofenshmirtz was looking incredibly smug about something. "Ah, Perry the Platypus, I..." He frowned. "You know, something just occurred to me. Why... Why do we always make these creatures-" he held out a Pokeball "-decide who wins? I mean, when you defeat me, I'm not the one who's injured, so why..." He shrugged. "Everybody else is doing it, so what can you do."

Perry thought about what Doofenshmirtz had said for a second, but then decided that direct fighting was silly. Besides, he had Pokemon that could break a human, or a platypus, like a twig.

"Anyway," said Doofenshmirtz, "this time I will be victorious, Perry the Platypus! Behold!" he declared, releasing a Pokemon. "Your doom!"

Perry looked at the Pokemon. It was a Shinx, an electric type that resembled a cat. It didn't look very much like Perry's doom.

Doofenshmirtz smirked. "You thought you were so clever, only using water... whatever these things are." He glanced down at the Shinx. "I think they're... magic? But you're not! You... You're not clever I mean. I mean, obviously you're not magic either..." He cleared his throat and returned to using his smug tone. "I bet you've never heard of a little thing called... type effectiveness!"

Perry wondered if Doofenshmirtz had got good value on the rock he'd been living under. He probably had, given how long he had to have been there.

Doofenshmirtz leaned down and stroked the Shinx. "I found out that electric types, like this little guy, do double damage against your stupid water types. Armed with this knowledge, I will finally defeat you, and rule the entire Tri-State Area!"

Perry produced a Pokeball, wondering as he did whether Doofenshmirtz's head would explode if anyone tried to tell him it was possible to make an attack... thirty-two times as effective, he believed. He wasn't very good with numbers, but it was something like that. He let out his newest Pokemon, which he'd nicknamed Ng'g'g'g'g'g.

Doofenshmirtz stared, and started to laugh. "Oh... Perry the Platypus," he managed to say. "Don't tell me you've given up already!"

Perry looked down at his Magikarp, and made a reassuring noise. It was important to keep up his team's self-esteem, especially the ones that would later have the ability to go off on a murderous rampage against anyone who'd ever wronged them.

"Th... Thundershock," Doofenshmirtz told his Shinx, in between gasps for breath.

Perry immediately withdrew Ng'g'g'g'g'g, and took out his Wooper, Ng'g'g'g'g'g'g'g. The electric attack connected, but Ng'g'g'g'g'g'g'g didn't seem to mind.

"Hey, no fair!" whined Doofenshmirtz. "You're not supposed to do that! Thundershock! Again!"

Perry chattered, telling Ng'g'g'g'g'g'g'g to wag her tail disarmingly. Sometimes Perry enjoyed messing with Doofenshmirtz.

Ng'g'g'g'g'g'g'g wagged her tail a second after the Shinx's attack hit her. Again, she didn't really seem to care.

Doofenshmirtz held up a hand. "Wait, wait wait. Time out." He produced a large book titled "My First Guide To Pokemon", and search through it. "Electric, electric..." he mumbled. "Aha!" He showed the book to Perry. "Electric does double damage to water! See?"

Perry saw. The book was very well illustrated, and there wasn't much doubt on what it meant. The page was even printed in dark yellow ink to represent electricity, which was a nice touch.

"Now... use Thundershock!" Doofenshmirtz told his Shinx, like reading the book would make his strategy suddenly work.

Ng'g'g'g'g'g'g'g still didn't care about the attack, and Perry chattered for slightly longer to tell her to use Mud Shot this time. He wanted to get this over with. It had been funny for a while, but now he was beginning to feel embarrassed for his nemesis.

A glob of mud flew unerringly through the air, and hit Doofenshmirtz's Shinx right in the face. With a slightly surprised look, the Shinx collapsed, and didn't move.

"What?" said Doofenshmirtz, poking his Shinx with a foot. "That... That doesn't even make sense! There's no mud up here! Your creature doesn't even have arms!"

Perry smirked and chattered, waiting for Doofenshmirtz to bring out his next Pokemon.

But he didn't. "Uh..." said Doofenshmirtz, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus."

Perry stared at him.

"What?" said Doofenshmirtz, suddenly annoyed. "I can't be _confident_ about my scheme? Maybe you always bring backup, but some of us don't need it. Some of us have enough self-confidence to..." He trailed off.

Perry looked at Doofenshmirtz's unconscious Shinx.

Then he withdrew Ng'g'g'g'g'g'g'g, and jumped back out the window.


End file.
